APW Happy Hour

Hey you guys,

Every so often we have a week at APW where I love everything in an obsessive, openhearted kind of way. That was this week for me, so thank you for coming along for the ride.

My project of turning the worst sheet cake I could find into a hip wedding cake just to prove that ANYONE could do this, no matter what kind of grocery store is nearby, got all sorts of viral traffic. This resulted in some of my favorite mean wedding industry comments of all time. One person claimed the cake had swamp water flowers on it (I’m unclear?), another claimed that the only thing wedding guests remembered was the cake (Y’all… I remember EATING cake, mmmmmm cake, but that comment made me work really hard to visualize cakes from weddings past, and the only one I could picture was the one the bride’s mom made). So it’s possible that’s… oversell… But this comment. STAFF FAVORITE FOREVER:

I am going to take 100% credit for that sprinkle-topped monstrosity. Fuck. Yes. And thank you. Just mail me the dollar store gifts.

And! Rachel made you a brunch wedding board on Pinterest this week—a work in progress. Bam!

In short, thanks for hanging with us this week. I loved it. It’s your Friday open thread, hop on it!

xoxo
Meg

Highlights of APW This Week

“It’s a Nice Day for (Half) White Wedding.” Rachel’s much needed discussion of race and weddings in America.

A sample wedding vows roundup, to jump-start your writing.

Shana’s courthouse elopement in San Francisco is one of my favorite things in a long time.

The famous shitty grocery store sheet cake that I turned into a hip wedding cake. Again, one of my favorite projects in a long time. (The more upscale version is coming, but this one has my heart.)

Link Roundup

Slate is currently running a special weddings issue, filled with musings that hit me in the gut. Of interest: why you should invite your parents’ friends to your wedding (I feel reasonably strongly about this, but wasn’t expecting the article to make me cry), musings on the friends who disappear from your life after your wedding (again, with the tears. We’re heading to the four year line, and already know there are last-timers in those photos), and something Elisabeth has discussed at length on these pages, how do I have a gay wedding that doesn’t seem…. straight.

But the Slate article that’s the most factually important is on why the “average” wedding cost you’re always hearing about is misleading. (Hint: because it’s not the median, for starters.) I recently told a reporter for a major newspaper why this oft reported number was incorrect, and suddenly realized that it’s not common knowledge… but it should be.

This video of two ladies getting engaged at a Macklemore concert may restore your faith in the public proposal. (Related story: are fanny packs back? Nooooo….)

Etsy’s new wedding collection for Nordstrom is pretty fascinating. I’m thrilled for the artists getting this mainstream retailing platform, but it also opens up an interesting conversation about how the wedding industry is co-opting what was originally indie wedding trends (and sometimes distorting the original message).

The ongoing discussion of sex and marriage in mainstream media tends to focus on maintaining or increasing desire; over at The Atlantic, they’re questioning whether maintaining desire has to be the goal. I’m gonna be frank with you: I found this article depressing as all get out, and Maddie immediately insisted we have an open thread on good sex (coming ‘atcha…)

We’re all about the well-fitting bra at APW so the staff is really curious whether Jockey’s attempts to make a better-fitting bra will actually be successful. Curious and excited, even though the internet is clutching its pearls over the price (which… us busty ladies have been paying $60 for a bra for a while).

The good news: more and more US companies are offering paid paternity leave. The bad news: the dads aren’t always comfortable taking it. As someone who just had her husband home for a full six week paternity leave, I would argue that the game is already rigged, and partner leave is the best tool we have to attempt to build an egalitarian parenting model.

This week, Hillary Clinton joined Twitter! Why the f*ck didn’t we lead with this? The team at The Cut asks smart and funny questions about her Twitter bio, so read that. I want a more in-depth conversation about why it leads with wife. (Softening? Or relational importance? What does it mean as a feminist?) But I just can’t even get to debating it because of the rest of the bio, “Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD…” HAIR ICON! PANTSUIT AFICIONADO! TBD… Holy crap, I can’t wait till you’re president. (I’m sorry, and the first Tweet. I just lost it all over again.)