Rejoice, my friends, for wedding season is upon us! And that means itâs time to go shopping. But for all my Masculine of Center* comrades out there, now is also the time to start panicking. (*Masculine of Center is an inclusive term for queer/lesbian folks who fall on the masculine end of the spectrum, originally used by B. Cole, founder of the Brown Boi Project.) Are you afraid that tux rental going to make you look like youâre wearing your dadâs suit? Are you staying up at night, asking yourself whether the shirt you just bought is flattering or makes you look like youâre wearing pajamas?
Donât worry, Iâve got your back. Iâve rounded up some outfits and pieces of outfits to help you get through the next few months. Whether youâre standing at the altar, heading to your shower, or poppinâ bottles at your engagement party, one of the outfits below should work for you. As a bonus, Iâve thrown in a couple options if youâre not the one getting married, but are attending a wedding as a guest. (As a second bonus, hereâs some tomboy flower girls that remind us clothing has no gender.)
Now listen up. Before we get started with some bomb clothes for you to look your best, thereâs a rule we must all commit to memory and abide by: The tailor is your friend. Donât dissuade yourself from buying the perfect pants that will make you look sharp AF because theyâre forty miles too long (WHY CANâT INSEAMS BE TWENTY-EIGHT INCHES ON THE REG???). Get that ish hemmed, get your shirts taken in, and DEFINITELY get your jacket sleeves shortened. Trust me. Your future self (and your future wedding album) will thank you.
Pro tip: As the name suggests, menâs shirts are tailored to fit men. And that means there isnât appropriate room for bigger chests. But it doesnât have to be this way! The womenâs section can be a treasure trove for plain dress shirts that donât look too girly. Check out the Stretch Perfect Shirt from J.Crew or the Riley-Fit Tailored Solid Shirt from Banana Republic, for example. If youâre set on a menâs shirt, though, and you donât want to deal with the dreaded button-down shirt boob gap, you have options. Iâve found that wearing a binder, like these from gc2b, helps smooth things out and make my shirts fit better. Itâs like Spanx for your chest. And they even come in a range of flesh tones, so it wonât show under a thin white shirt.
So without further ado, letâs get you dressed:
Masculine of center ENGAGEMENT PARTY
So you got engaged, CONGRATS, and youâre thinking, âOkay sweet, I just have to prepare for one BIG day, and thatâs like, ten months away, so I can coast for a few weeks before I start my research.â WRONG! Getting married is about having eighty million parties celebrating you and your partner leading up to the actual day, where everyone also celebrates you and your partner. Itâs literally a year of celebrating. And that starts with the engagement party.
Engagement Look 1
Get the party started with the Daily Grind Limited Edition from Bonobos. Together with a classic pair of chinos, like the Stone Twill Ultra Skinny Fit Dress Pants from Topman, and these dark blue loafers from H&M, youâll be ready to kick of your wedding celebration year in style.
Engagement Look 2
Also check out these Black and White Check Ultra Skinny Fit Cropped Dress Pants from Topman with the Mode Merino V-Neck Jumper from AllSaints. This look says that youâre business up top, but youâre all party down below.
MASCULINE OF CENTER WEdding SHOWER TIME
If you thought that showers were for âgirls,â youâre mistaken, my friend. More and more couples are doing joint showers, and that means you need to look fly for a daytime event. But donât sweat it. You can have some fun here, too.
Shower Look 1
You canât go wrong with a classic polo, like this Fred Perry Slim Fit Twin Tipped Polo Shirt from ASOS. A short-sleeve button up, like the Daisy Button Up from Wildfang, will also do the trick. Pair either the polo or the button-up with the Archie Pant, also from Wildfang.
SHOWER LOOK 2
Iâm currently drooling over the WD-NY Black Pink and Green Floral Blazer from Target. Throw this together with some white shorts and t-shirt, like the ASOS Slim Chino Shorts and the Comme des Garçons Play Crewneck T-shirt, and these Sperry Gold Cup boat shoes from Nordstrom, and youâll be all set to open those gifts and drink those mimosas.
MASCULINE OF CENTER WEDDING ATTIRE
If youâre old enough to get married, youâre old enough to own at least one good suit. (If you have the budget, two good suits is even more idealâone for fall/winter and one for spring/summer. But Iâll save that for another post.) And since this is probably one of the most important days of your life, itâs okay to splurge a little. Iâve rounded up two looks for you, but thereâs also plenty of Masculine of Center wedding inspiration in our archives (like this one, this one, or even this gem.)
Wedding look 1
You canât go wrong with a light wool suit, like this slim navy number from ASOS. You can skip the vest and get the pants hemmed a little shorter for a cropped look if you want it to feel more modern. If you want to stick with traditional, go with dark gray or black, like the Davis blazer and Ansari pants combo from Wildfang. Go with a black shirt to keep it svelteâlike this amazing Annapolis Black Tomboy shirt from Haute Butchâor add some color for a lighter flare. And if you want to keep it classic, this white sateen shirt from ASOS will make you feel like James Bond.
wedding look 2
But hey, this is your wedding. You do you. Itâs okay for you to get a little crazy. If youâre a summer wedding kind of couple, this Heart & Dagger blazer from ASOS paired with shorts is A+ (get the pants, too, so itâs like two suits in one!). This ASOS Slim Sateen Shirt with Wing Collar And Contrast Buttons is a perfect way to round out the look. The collar dresses it up a little more, especially if you go with shorts.
wedding Shirts & Accessories
And, if you want to get crazy but not TOO crazy, you can always wear a patterned shirt like the Speckle button up from Wild Fang, add a pocket square for a hint of color (check out the Perfect Pocket Square from Nordstrom), or go with a fun tie, like this Navy Floral Print Tie from Topman.
Accessories donât have to be limited to ties and pocket squares. The DesignB London Stag Lapel Pin In Rose Gold from ASOS will definitely be a conversation starter. Complement your look with an elegant timepiece, like this Nixon The Sentry Watch from Nordstrom.
Donât cheap out on the shoes, either. The last thing you need on your wedding day is a blister to ruin your honeymoon. The Downtown Dappers from Tomboy Toes will round out your outfit without breaking the bank. And they have sizes as small as 34, for those tinier feet.
MASCULINE OF CENTER GUEST ATTIRE
As a guest, your main job is to show up and have fun supporting your friends, while looking fly and feeling your best. And you donât have to drop a ton of benjamins to do that.
Guest look 1
A daytime wedding calls for lighter fabrics. This linen blazer and pants combo from H&M can be paired with a slim black tie and white shirt, or shirt with no tie, if youâre feeling more casual. And for a subtle way to introduce some color, how cool are these red skull socks from Stance?
GUest look 2
If you get invited to a black tie event, donât panicâand donât think that your only option is to rent a tux. You can find some great options for less than $300, like this Noose & Monkey Super Skinny Tux in Pink from ASOS. Add a white or black shirt, no socks, black shoesâlike these Black Patent Tassel Loafers from Topmanâand youâll be good to go. Who says only femmes wear pink? (I love this look for getting married in, too.)
So now you have some great outfit ideas in your arsenal to make sure you look hot as hell when you show up for the party, whether itâs for you or someone you love. Donât forget sweet details like monogramed pocket squares, cool lapel pins, or adding custom embroidery inside your suit. Also keep in mind that your suit doesnât have to be put out to pasture once the celebrations are over. Refresh your digs with a new shirt or socks, and youâll look as good as new the next fancy event youâre invited to.
What do you or your masculine of center partner plan to wear for weddings or other events? Show us your pics in the comments!