Our Wedding Was Not Our “Happily Ever After.” It’s the Start of an Adventure.

KAIT, FOOD SERVICE & BOBBY, CAR SALESMAN

SUM-UP OF THE WEDDING VIBE: An intimate and chill elopement for a blended family that included ferry boats and a stranger’s front lawn.

SOUNDTRACK FOR READING: “I Know Places” by Lykke Li

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THE WEDDING

I loved that we just played it by ear. Everything fell into place naturally. Nothing about the day was set in stone, we just rolled with it. I think that attitude also carries over into our relationship. We are very “roll with the punches/come what may” kind of people. Our day reflected that.

It was important to us to set aside a portion of the ceremony for Scarlet. She was basically our cupid. She’s always been a central part of our life together. Bobby even asked her permission before proposing to me. I love the show Lost, I love the idea of “Constants” and I mostly love that Scarlet has always been mine. I have had a unique opportunity to be able to grow up along with her because I had her at a young age. We’ve been through a lot together. She’s my ride or die. I gave her a gold pin with the word “Constant” and talked to her a little about how much her presence means to me. Bobby gave her a ring and a promise to always be there if she ever needs him for anything. She also walked me down the aisle, or sidewalk? She walked me to the ceremony. I won’t say she “gave me away” because I’ll always be hers.

OTHER COOL STUFF WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

The first thing that we decided about our elopement was our photographer. I had been a fan of Jonas‘s work for a long time. I really believe in good and bad energy and vibes, and I loved how while looking at his work you could kind of feel the room. After we hired Jonas everything else just fell in line. Our family is scattered so we knew we wanted to elope, just the three of us. We wanted to take a road trip for our honeymoon anyway so Seattle seemed perfect. Jonas helped us so much with everything, he set me up with our amazing hair and makeup person, found locations for the perfect portrait walk before we even left Oklahoma, told jokes with our daughter while waiting in the car for the ferry. It was such a gift to be able to have him and Mary (his partner) there to document the day, and they did a beautiful job. The photos look exactly how the day felt to me, there’s something very authentic about how he captures moments. It’s like journalistic wedding photography if that’s a thing? When somebody has an extraordinary talent it bounces off whatever is around them, and I am so honored to have had the opportunity to have our wedding day serve as a reflection of his talent.

Our venue: We actually got married in a stranger’s front yard! We planned to scout for locations after arriving in Seattle. We live thirty hours away, and neither of us had ever been there. We originally chose this big dock for cruise ships by Pike Place that a man on a pedicab showed us. I got anxiety about twenty minutes before we were supposed to leave that we would get kicked off and that my nerves about that possibility would ruin the wedding, so I asked Jonas to go pick somewhere in the neighborhood that he thought would be best for photos. At the end of the day, I didn’t care where I married Bobby, only that I married him. A venue was never a high priority for us. Jonas ended up knocking on a woman’s door and asking if we could use her front yard, luckily she obliged. Honestly, the ceremony was so emotional for me that I couldn’t even see our surroundings. It’s all kind of a blur. I was so focused on our vows and thinking about how this was all a long time coming. I hate to use the word “special” to describe a wedding ceremony because it sounds so trite and cheesy, but that shit was special.

Our rings: Once when Bobby and I weren’t together we went to an antique store. An old guy there told us that we had to get married, even when we insisted we were just friends. He told Bobby to come back and see him when he decided to marry me. We ended up buying our wedding bands from him. Pretty respectable long con.

Scarlet’s suit: She was the ring bearer because that’s what I had a literal need for. We didn’t even have a real aisle for anybody to throw petals down on. We did need somebody to hold our rings. Why is it more socially acceptable for a dog to be a ring bearer than a human girl? That I don’t know. The question isn’t really why did she wear a suit, it’s when was the last time you saw a ring bearer in a dress?

Something old: My mom’s fabric from her dress that my belt was made from.
Something new: Erica Weiner gypsy spark necklace.
Something borrowed: The earrings I wore in my second holes were little tiny gold studs that are Scarlet’s from when she first got her ears pierced.
Something blue: My shoes.

Our cake: This was actually an afterthought. I thought it would be bad luck not to have one, so Scarlet picked out this mess of sprinkles at Whole Foods the night before the wedding. Basically the whole day was chill and casual, and the cake was no exception.

When Bobby proposed to me he gave me a big leather adventure book. I think the idea of a wedding being “happily ever after” is wrong. This is not the end of the story. This is the beginning, and I’m so happy to be starting it with him. So far it’s just filled with polaroids and ephemera, but we’re very excited to fill it with wedding photos and more.